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Is there such thing as TOO NICE?

Soulfulfrog

みんなに優しく
Staff member
Premium Member
Lifetime Member
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8,173
Georgetown, ON.
Hi all.

I'd like to run something past everyone here in the off topic section. I've been taken advantage of numerous times over the years here. Not just because of my good nature but because I'm perhaps too trusting in others. So far it's been innocent enough not to be too bothered by it.. Anyway my question is. Have you ever been taken advantage of by someone here or abused by them because of your good trusting nature. Seems like a strange thing to ask but I have some pretty good reasons lately to ask this. I don't do anything out of malice and I never have. So why abuse? Why be negative? Or why not be understanding and patent. Sorry Im weird I guess. I trust too many and expect too much. It's best perhaps to think the worst outcome first then be perhaps surprised when it goes better than that? Been through a ton this year so maybe I'm getting soft. Lol..
 
I don't think you're "Too soft" Brian. You are very good to people and always go above and beyond in your relationships with them...all the personal and business interactions I have done with you and have seen you do with other members here have been nothing but above board and more than fair! It's mostly just humans, brother. They'll push and push until you either give up or throw them out of your circle.

...but they're not all like that. Please keep in mind that sentence was just typed by a man who absolutely hates humans. I rarely even wave to any neighbors except 2 that I've lived beside for 17 years, because the new neighbors I have waved to all wanted me to "Hook them up" with something car-related or need me to help them buy something somewhere. I don't like people. And my profession has completely turned me into this and I still reaffirm it every day.

All we can do is be good and kind and understanding, not just to those we love but those we meet also, and if you get screwed you remember it and don't let it happen twice by the same screwer. I have had nothing but good luck in here, hopefully that will continue.

And I sincerely hope all the good things you have done in here for various members and all the good things that have come to you in here far outweigh all the crap that gets tossed on your head at times, cause O Forum is better with you in it.

(Now I'm getting soft...damn you Canuck!)
 
What Doug said !! Don't let them drag you down B, You have always been willing to answer my questions and talk out an idea even if it never came to fruition. It's great that you put yourself out there as a person and an artist and share your knowledge with the rest of us. There will always be those who will look to take advantage of you being out there but hopefully you will find them few and far between. Keep on keeping on !!

CC
 
You're not too soft. In fact, sounds like your head is in the right place, if you're questioning things after being $hi+ on. Welcome to my world. You try and treat people the way you wish to be treated. I believe my good nature was why I was targeted in the first place. Because I thought I could trust others. But I found out the hard way that even here on this forum, there are good people, and there are bad. And just like the real world, the bad could be, lets say, really F-ed up. There are people that 'know' I got ripped off, and said 'nothing' when I was being attacked for trying to say something. The criminal might be gone now, but those $hi++y people are still here attacking my character for no reason. Because of this place, I went from wanting to collect Oakleys, to wanting to sell off almost everything I have. And I have been. Laters with Oakleys. Sounds like you have a good heart Brian, and I hope it doesn't get to you the way it did me. I'm just here for a couple more Mars, then I'm outta here.
 
One thing I learned that I have always resisted but realized is true, being nice isn't what you think it is, it is about what the other person thinks it is. so when you go out of your way to help it may be enabling someone who has been deprived of so many things in life that they can cant resist taking advantage and biting the hand that is helping them, and sadly it is probably more rewarding for them to hurt/scam/deceive someone than it is to receive the gift.

I do something (or at least try to) every time someone buys something from me. I will throw in something I have laying around that would be equivalent to a stocking stuffer or freebee (I work in sales and have access to promotional stuff) A pen, keychain, a doohickey, etc. some buyers say thanks and appreciate it, and some people are like, "why did you put x in my package?" because to them what I put in there is just of garbage.

anyway, best I can share with you is that if you do what you say you would do, and when you offer things do just that. no one is gonna hate, and if you stay fair, scammers will just stay away or know what to expect. At any rate, I appreciate you and the work you put in for this community. Now go eat some poutine.
 
Your not soft in the slightest. Your intentions are clear and honourable. Instead, you need to look/question those few who try to take advantage of others. Instead of thinking your being too nice, they really need to stop being selfish and advantageous.
 
I certainly appreciate your disposition, empathy, and general awesomeness. Some tremendously good comments by the other members here, very well said. I believe you are a great example of customer service, friendship, and caring for the good of everyone - not easy moderating in polarizing times.

I have been legit scammed (not here), and it sucks being a victim for sure. That said, I still try and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Former President Regan said it well, "Trust - but verify". The vast majority of folks are good natured, only a few bad ones. I try and limit my "kindness tests" to the smaller items, and if it feels "wierd" trust the spidy sense and walk away.
 
I pick and choose who I'm nice too, because I'm not going to openly put myself in a position where I'm a victim...

Nobody will scam me or victimize me and get away with it, that's for sure...

Quick story about being too nice: I was too nice one time about 14 years ago and it got me fired from my job

BUT, little did I know that the current job I have has blessed me with the financial freedom that I would have never experienced at the job I got fired from...

Be good y'all, but be careful also
 
You're not too soft. In fact, sounds like your head is in the right place, if you're questioning things after being $hi+ on. Welcome to my world. You try and treat people the way you wish to be treated. I believe my good nature was why I was targeted in the first place. Because I thought I could trust others. But I found out the hard way that even here on this forum, there are good people, and there are bad. And just like the real world, the bad could be, lets say, really F-ed up. There are people that 'know' I got ripped off, and said 'nothing' when I was being attacked for trying to say something. The criminal might be gone now, but those $hi++y people are still here attacking my character for no reason. Because of this place, I went from wanting to collect Oakleys, to wanting to sell off almost everything I have. And I have been. Laters with Oakleys. Sounds like you have a good heart Brian, and I hope it doesn't get to you the way it did me. I'm just here for a couple more Mars, then I'm outta here.

I have to disagree. As one of those people I can assure you NONE of us believed he was screwing you, it was the word of a "noob" against that of a "friend". We all found out we were dead wrong and I don't believe any of them, I know I don't, hold any of it against you. How the hell could we? You did nothing wrong. That said I hope you don't really give up Oakley collecting because of the actions of one assclown. You collect way too cool of stuff to let it go. I'd hate to see you dump it all then regret it later. Ask X Man about his Mars Craters lol He regrets it every time he sells one.

As for Brian, you're Canadian so I think by default you're too nice. 😂


Repeat this Mantra: **** you, you ****in ****.

The next time someone is a **** to you, tell em that.

To answer you question, yes, only once was I screwed by someone here. Not by a noob, not by someone I barely talked to, but by someone I called friend. It relates directly back to the first half of this post. Same assclown. In the end I got my money back but that was never the issue. It was the trust. I wouldn't call it a waste though. I learned a great deal from the experience. Mainly I learned what signs to look for. Luckily I've not encountered any other assclowns like that but I assure you, if I do, you will all know about it.





Wait now that I think about it there was that one douchebag kiteboy several years ago that sold a bunch of **** to several of us that had been in a storage locker getting hot. You know what the heat does to X Metal box foam and rubber. He claimed it was all new, big surprise, it wasn't. Paypal had our backs and the dude went away after some time.
 
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