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Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by OakleyFrankFMJ, 3/3/13.
I think it'd be cool to have a joke thread for funny pictures and jokes.
What do you guys think?
Good idea Badman! lol
May as well start things off...
My missus packed my bags and as I walked out of the front door she screamed... "I wish u a slow and painful death u bastard!" "Oh" I replied, "so u want me to f**king stay now!"
"I'm an ice sculptor. Last night I made a cube."- Mitch Hedberg.
Mitch was so amazing.
I don't like pepridge farm bread because its wrapped twice. You open it, and it still aint open. I don't need another step between me and toast.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Another one liner.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual,
"I have a headache."
"Perfect" her husband said. "I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin. You can take it orally or as a suppository,... it's up to you!"
"G'day mate, Foster's Helpline - what's the problem mate?"
"I'm on holiday in Australia with my girlfriend and she's been stung on the minge by a hornet ... now her vagina has completely closed up!!!"
"Great idea!! Thanks mate!!"