Joke Thread

[Orion]

View attachment 458171


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That's not the same as a "five finger discount" is it.......LMAO!

 

[Beardo0628]

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[Litos]

 

[kronin323]

 

[Beardo0628]

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[Beardo0628]

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[BigRabbit]

Lol

 

[Beardo0628]

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[Rado]

One day a man asks a pirate captain if he could teach his parrot some words. The pirate says ok if I have time.

Out at sea one day a sailor walks into the captains quarters and leaves the door open and the captain yells “SHUT THAT GODdAMn DOOR!”. The parrot memorizes it.

The next day the captain and his sailors are sitting at the table eating and the captain yells “PASS THE DAMN BREAD”. The parrot memorizes that.

Days later a sailor runs in and says “captain captain the ship is sinking what shall we do?” The captain yells, “SWIM MOTHERFU**Er SWIM!”.

Month later the man meets the pirate and the pirate says to the man sorry I couldn’t teach your parrot any words, but let me buy you lunch.

They are eating in the restaurant when someone walks in and leaves the door open and the parrot yells, “SHUT THAT GOdDAMn DOOR!”.

Later during enjoying their meal the parrot suddenly yells, “PASS THE DAMN BREAD!”.

Just then a nun which had been seating nearby who had been upset with the parrots language got up and walked over and asked, “parrot how do you expect to get to heaven?”

Parrot yells, “SWIM MOTHERFU**eR SWIM!”.

 

[Beardo0628]

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