Joke Thread

[Rado]

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[Beardo0628]

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[Beardo0628]

A boss said to his secretary "I want to have SEX with U. I will make it very FAST. I'll throw $1,000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I'll be DONE." She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said 2 her, do it but "Ask him for $2,000, pick up the money very fast he wouldn't even have enough time to undressed himself." So she agrees. Half an hour goes by, the boyfriend decides to call his girlfriend, he asks, "what happened?" She responds,"The Bastard used COINS, I'm still PICKING and he is still *******!!! Boyfriend fainted..

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[Beardo0628]

Four nuns die and arrive at the pearly gates. Saint Peter is there and asks the first nun if she had ever touched a penis.

"Yes," she admits. "I once touched a penis with the tip of my finger."

"Dip your finger into the holy water and enter the kingdom of Heaven," says Saint Peter. The nun dips her finger in the holy water and enters heaven.

Saint Peter asks the same question of the second nun.

"Yes," she admits. "I once touched a penis with one hand."

"Dip your hand into the holy water and enter the kingdom of Heaven," says Saint Peter. The second nun complies and enters heaven.

At this point, the fourth nun abruptly cuts in line.

"Hang on!" she says, pointing at the third nun. "You'd better let me go next, because there's no way I'm gargling that **** after she sticks her ass in it!"


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[Litos]

 

[Beardo0628]

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[Litos]

@MD Oakley'er hahahahaha !!!!

 

[Rado]

An old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this problem with frequent gas. Fortunately, the farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 10 times since I've been here, and I bet you didn't even notice!" The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back next week."

The next week the old lady returns. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my silent farts stink like the dickens." The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."

 

[MD Oakley'er]

@MD Oakley'er hahahahaha !!!!



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it's so sad because it's true I can't deny it

 

[Beardo0628]

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