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Now Homeless Thanks Oakley!!!!

NCHornet

I should Work at Oakley
Premium Member
Lifetime Member
524
1,173
Two months ago I had 5 pairs of Juliets and thought that was crazy for one man to have 5 pairs of sunglasses that cost what they did. Two months later, I now have an Oakley display cabinet in my den, 9 pairs of Juliets sitting on Oakley xmetal stands in the case and I lost count of how many sets of lenses I have for the Juliets both new and used. I had no intentions of buying anything else Oakley for quite some time. Then that little voice said, c'mon, just a quick look in the X Metal Exchange, you deserve it, you won't buy anything else, your just keeping up with what's going on in the world of Oakley, that's it, just one more click and your there!!!!

The next thing I know I'm sending some dude named Steve a bunch of money for another Julie.

IMG_6463.JPG

And now this beauty is on its way to me!!! So much for YOU WON'T BUY ANYTHING, YOU CAN JUST TAKE A QUICK LOOK, THAT WON'T COST YOU A PENNY, well I hate to tell ya but the balance in my checking account says something very different!!!!
You would think that would have been my Oakley fix for the week, right? Yeah me too buddy, me too!!!

The next thing I know I'm reading some message sent to me by some dude named Hardaway. I shouldn't of clicked to open the message, I should have said NO TO HARDAWAY THE OAKLEY LENS PUSHER!!!! But then I heard that voice again, You can just read the message, you can look at his lens porn photo, you don't have to buy anything, if you don't open the message that would be down right rude, wouldn't it? Your right, looking is free, I have will power, don't want to be rude, right?
The next thing I know, I'm staring at this

IMG_20171202_130308.jpg

Then this Hardaway lens pusher says the words no Oakley addict should ever here, THESE LENSES ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE POSITIVE RED LENSES, THEY WOULD LOOK INCREDIBLE IN ANY OF YOUR FRAMES AND YOU WILL NEED A BIGGER STICK TO BEAT ALL THE OAKLEY WHORES OFF OF YOU, and then the one phrase that sealed my fate for good, THIS IS THE LAST PAIR IN EXISTENCE, MAY NOT EVER BE ABLE TO GET ANOTHER PAIR LIKE THESE, THEY CAN GO OUT IN TODAY'S MAIL IF YOU ACT QUICK.

The next thing I knew I awoke to text message notifications from my bank saying,
BOY, YOUR AZZ AIN'T JUST BROKE, YOUR OVERDRAWN KIND OF BROKE, YOU BE SCREWED NOW!!!

I am typing this from the McDonald's because they have FREE WiFi, my new residence is just outside the back door, behind the row of bushes. I grabbed a refrigerator box from the dumpster at Lowe's and have it set up by the exhaust vent from the deep fryer. It's going to be 8 degrees tonight, but I will be nice and toasty right here. The best part, if I can't shower for a month nobody will know because I'll be smelling like a Super Sized Fri Order. If y'all are driving through my town don't forget to say hey. I'll be the homeless dude that is wearing an awesome cowboy hat and stinks like a French fry, but I'll have some bad azz shades on!!!! LIFE IS GOOD!!!!

Seriously now, thanks to the great members on this forum, like Steve and Chris, y'all were great to deal with and I'm looking forward to receiving them soon. Y'all have a great night.
Later
NCH
 

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