Joke Thread

[kronin323]

After boarding his flight, a guy was lucky enough to have the bombshell blonde walking down the isle sit next to him. Nervous about how to start a conversation, he asks her if her trip is for business.

"Yes, I'm going to a nymphomanic convention!"

"Really... what happens there?"

"Well, this time we're examining myths about stereotypes. For example, the stereotype is that black men are the biggest when it's actually Native Americans. French men are considered the most passionate but it's actually the Jewish. Northerners are said to have the most stamina but it's actually Southerners. My name is Anne, by the way..."

"Hi Anne, my name is Tonto Weinberg, but you can call me Bubba..."

 

[kronin323]

After years of personal embarrasment a women finally goes to the doctor for labia reduction. She insists on total confidentiality and the doctor agrees.

The surgery goes well but when she wakes up in the hospital room, she sees three roses on the table next to her. Enraged, she calls in her doctor.

"I thought you agreed to keep this quiet! Where did those roses come from?"

"I followed your wishes. The first rose is from me. The second is from the nurse that assisted me during the operation; she's been through the same."

"And the third rose?"

"That's from the guy in the burn ward who wanted to thank you for his new ears."

 

[kronin323]

What do a priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common?

They both came in a little behind...

 

[kronin323]

Two redneck hunters were walking along when they hear a distressed bleating. Following the sound, they find a goat caught by the neck in a barbed wire fence.

"What should we do?" said the first hunter.

The second hunter says, "I don't know about you, but I know what I'm going to do..."

He walks up to the goat, undoes his overalls, then proceeds to take it from behind.

In the middle of his business, he turns to the first hunter and groans, "Do you want any of this action?"

Walking up and undoing his overalls, the first hunter replies, "Heck yes, but I ain't sticking my head in no fence..."

 

[kronin323]

 

[kronin323]

 

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[kronin323]

 

[Dallas O Hog]