Joke Thread

[OakleyFrankFMJ]

Have you been hitting the bottle on a Monday again??


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I usually hit other people with the bottle.

 

["TRUMP"]

Thats actually me in the picture.

 

["TRUMP"]

Does this count as a meaningful post?

 

[cacatman]

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.

He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, "How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?"

The salesperson answers, "Which one do you mean, Sir?

We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95".

The amazed father asks: "It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?"

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: "Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and Ken's share portfolio".

 

["TRUMP"]

 

[Litos]

 

[Nortika]

What's the difference between a chickpea and a Navy bean?




Never had a Navy bean on my chest!

 

[cacatman]

Q: What do you do if a bird poops on your windscreen?

A: You never take her out again.

 

["TRUMP"]

Dot 5 synthetic

 

[Litos]