Joke Thread

[Wesleypipesyo]

 

[Rado]

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Irishman answered his door to find two grim-faced constables.

“We’re sorry, Mr. O’Flynn, but we have some information about your dear wife, Maureen,” said one of the officers.

“Tell me! Did you find her?” O’Flynn asked.

The constables looked at each other and one said, “We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?”

Fearing the worst, Patrick said, “Give me the bad news first.”

The constable said, “I’m really sorry to tell you, sir, but early this morning we found your poor wife’s body in the bay.”

“Lord sufferin’ Jesus and Holy Mother of God!” exclaimed O’Flynn. Swallowing hard, he then asked, “What could possibly be the good news

The constable continued, “When we pulled the late, departed poor Maureen up, she had 12 of the best-looking Atlantic lobsters that you have ever seen clinging to her. Haven’t seen lobsters like that since the 1960’s, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch.”

Stunned, O’ Flynn demanded, “Glory be to God, if that’s the good news, then what’s the really great news?”

The constable replied, “We’re gonna pull her up again tomorrow.”

 

[Rado]

After my recent Prostate Exam at the General Hospital, which btw was one of the most thorough examinations I've ever had the Doctor left, and the nurse came in.

As she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn't want to hear

She asked, "who was that guy?"

 

[Wesleypipesyo]

 

[BigRabbit]

*** Christopher Columbus

 

[Wesleypipesyo]

 

[Carrera1963]

View attachment 536261

Worth it to avoid the sodding teddy bears!

 

[Wesleypipesyo]

 

[Rado]

Wife asks, “Have you ever seen Twenty Dollars all crumpled up?”.
“No” said her husband.

She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top three buttons of her blouse and slowly reached down in her cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra and pulled out a crumpled Twenty Dollar Bill.

He took the crumpled Twenty Dollar bill from her and smiled approvingly.

She then asked, "Have you ever seen Fifty Dollars all crumpled up?"

"No I haven't" he said with an anxious tone in his voice.

She gave him another sexy little smile pulled up her skirt, seductively reached into her tight, sheer panties and pulled out a crumpled Fifty Dollar bill.

He took the crumpled Fifty Dollar bill and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation.

"Now" she said "Have you ever seen 50,000 Dollars all crumpled up?"

"No way" he said, becoming even more aroused and excited to which she replied:

"Go look in the garage."

 

[Litos]