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🦘What Characterises a Hardcore Oakley Collector?

cacatman

No one knows 'cacat' like cacatman!!
Staff member
Premium Member
Lifetime Member
Updated 24th February, 2023 by @cacatman

If you have any other signs, let me know in the comments!

Introduction
The Oxford dictionary defines a "collector" as, "A person who collects things of a specified type, professionally or as a hobby."

"Hardcore" is defined as, "The most active, committed, or strict members of a group or movement."


Telltale Signs that You Might Be a Hardcore Oakley Collector:-
  1. You saw this post before you had something to eat for breakfast
  2. You love Oakley pre-1993
  3. Have 2 or more pairs of Oakleys
  4. Am a member of both Oakley Forum and O-Review.com
  5. Have waited up more than 2 hours past their bedtime just to "snipe" an eBay auction for a desired pair of Oakleys or Check the Exchange areas of O.F. at least once weekly
  6. Have bought at least one fake pair of Oakleys accidentally
  7. Have spent more than their spouse knows
  8. You're exclusive - You won't wear other brands of sunglasses, even Persol
  9. Pooh poohs other aftermarket brands (except for @Linegear Japan's rubbers), @Marien matte Mariener lenses or Dillons
  10. You know who @Blondie, @QLR1, @SoulFulFrog and @Bonz-1 are
  11. You take at least 3 pairs on holidays (and usually 10 pairs just in case) if away from home for >24 hours
  12. NEVER leaves their Oakleys in the car (due to heat) and NEVER rests their Oakleys lens facing down on the table
  13. You take off your Romeos in a weird way (like a hat or by pivoting from the ears)
  14. Friends have taken photos of your collection to send to their friends (because they can't believe what they're seeing, in a good or bad way!!)
  15. Has at least one custom from any of the guys listed here....List of Custom/Lens Cutting/Custom Frame Mod Contacts (cacatman)
  16. You've lied about how much you've paid for your Oakleys
  17. People have told you that your limited edition pairs look idiotic, but you still don't care
  18. You won't let people touch your sunglasses/you have used gloves to handle your collection
  19. Your best virtual friends are from this forum and you've introduced someone to this forum
  20. You check your messages on O.F. when you wake up in the morning
  21. You've posted at least once in the WOAYT Thread
  22. You literally vomit if you see anyone cleaning their lenses with the t-shirt their wearing
  23. Never use the microfibre bag to clean the lenses
  24. You lament Luxottica's direction and customer service
  25. You've had friends who visit, creep off while you wax lyrical while showing them your collection
  26. You've spoken to another forum member just about Oakleys for at least 30 minutes
  27. Sometimes you catch yourself daydreaming about your collection
  28. You've refused to let people try on your vintage O-matter because you thought they wouldn't treat them with care when trying them on
  29. Get mad at "flippers" even though they're making hard to find Oakleys accessible to you!!
  30. Your spouse has placed you on a watch list for expenditure control
  31. Your children think you're crazy
  32. You carefully store Oakley packaging and boxes
  33. You think paying $3000 for a complete C-six Carbon is an absolute bargain and you'd sell your car tomorrow if you could land one at that price (but had no money)
  34. You gave serious thought to not feed your family for a week so you could buy a grail
  35. You have at least one display cabinet
  36. You get angry when an Oakley employee doesn't know the answer/never ask employees anything now because they don't know anything
  37. You know how to spell "Ichiro"
  38. You think @BigRabbit is the best thing since sliced bread because of the stuff he sells!
  39. You get excited when a seller sends you a free genuine Oakley Popcard
  40. Are paranoid about getting scratches on the lenses
  41. You keep at least 500 mls of Oakley cleaning solution always on hand
  42. Have >5 pairs of rubbers for the same model because "just in case" they wear out in your lifetime
  43. Get genuinely mad when the talk turns to, "Which is better - O-matter or X-metals"
  44. Follow a perfect stranger around a shop because you want to get a better look at what Oakleys they are wearing
  45. You laugh when people call Badman and Madman "X-metals"
  46. You collect Oakley items that have nothing to do with sunglasses themselves
  47. You have an O-sticker on the vehicle you drive (or on your laptop/phone)
  48. You've actually given thought to matching your attire with your sunglasses
  49. You don't normally cry, but you wept when you saw this picture
  50. You wear Oakleys at night sometimes
  51. You know what a fake XS looks like from a photo of just the earstems or rear of nosebridge
  52. You've never visited this part of Oakley Forum
  53. If your spouse allowed you to, you'd fill the lounge room with Oakley cabinets and Oakleys
  54. Your FB/Instagram profile pic has you wearing Oakleys
  55. You can walk into your Oakley room and know what has been moved
  56. You've driven >25 miles one way to pick up a pair of Oakleys for <$30 just because it was a bargain (or driven >75 miles one way just to pick up any other Oakley product)
  57. You wanted to name your next kid/pet Oakley (and you aren't even American)
  58. There are some pairs in your collection that haven't been worn in over a year
  59. At any one time, you have at least 15 photos of just Oakleys stored on your phone
  60. You refuse to pay retail for new Oakleys
  61. You have taught an Oakley salesperson something about Oakley that they didn't know
  62. You know that the 24K Juliet and 24K XS are NOT made from REAL gold
  63. You have BNIB Oakleys that have literally never been worn (and still have the stickers on the lenses)
  64. You've returned a creased box to a seller because it "wasn't as described"
  65. You've purposely used gloves when handling your Oakleys for the sole purpose so that you wouldn't affect them adversely with fingerprints, frame damage or dirt (counts if it was during lens changes/maintenance)
  66. You have specific eBay saved searches which you check religiously (@Wavecloud)
  67. Your spouse has given up trying to make you stop collecting (@flyer)
  68. In all of your collecting time, you’ve never retired or taken a hiatus (@Medusa50)
  69. You’ve used the “value” thread so you can get in early with a PM for a pair that hasn’t hit the market yet.
  70. You’ve traveled to questionable location (e.g. dangerous part of your city, or your mother-in-law's house, or red light area (that would be out of character to frequent, etc)) to score a deal (@IAMOBS)

Bonus Round
  1. You have so many Oakleys that you started diversifying by adding Oakley branded stuff that you're never going to use e.g. trophies, Christmas decorations, BMX grips (when you don't even ride), boots or signage
  2. You have a "contingency plan" when you die ie. who is going to sell off/gift your Oakleys
  3. You've sent free Oakley stuff to another collector who resonated with you
  4. You are jealous of someone else's collection when you yourself have more than 10 lifetime's worth of Oakleys to wear
  5. You've visited Oakley HQ
  6. You say you don't match your Oakleys with what you're wearing, but you have been known to do it
  7. You get upset when the ignorant sunglass shop employee gives you a non-matching box and insist on searching for the right box, even though everyone else in the shop thinks that you're totally insane
  8. You've spent > 20 minutes searching for the right pair to wear to the chagrin of your family
  9. You forget about stuff you've purchased, only to find them years later (@Chris A Hardaway)

Bonus Bonus Round
  1. You check Oakley Forum daily (@tacokiller)
  2. You're jealous of someone else's collection even though you have over 100 pairs yourself!!!
  3. You ask people on CL, OfferUp, eBay, 5mile, FB Marketplace, Mercari, StockX or Poshmark that are selling something you're interested in if they are a member of O.F. or O-R (@FearGearGarage)
  4. You only know what CL, OfferUp, eBay, 5mile, FB Marketplace, Mercari, StockX or Poshmark are because of Oakley (@FearGearGarage)
  5. You moved your family across the country to live outside HQ (@ShortChangeHero)
  6. You have security on your cabinets so no one else can get into them (@Oakley UK)
  7. You have “beater” pairs of your favorites for daily wear (@Dbninc)
  8. You receive a package with an Oakley item you can’t remember ever buying it (@TheStig)
  9. Buying a second pair of the exact same thing because that model has variations from piece to piece. Example: Spin Shift Redux, Swirl Frogskins, Kokoros, etc.(@TNRedbeard)
  10. When you have so many sets of donor lenses you forget what you have and just keep buying more (@Chet Manley)
  11. You keep certain auctions a 'secret' and won't mention it, because you don't want competition from other OF members (@Lopaka KaMars)
  12. You have unopened sealed boxes of stuff
  13. You have recorded an unboxing video of Oakley stuff (@IAMOBS)
  14. You hide your Oakleys from rain. And wipe them immediately if wet (@Lopaka KaMars)
 

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Last edited:
T

"TRUMP"

Guest
36. You get angry when an oakley employee doesnt know the answer.

Should be:

"You know oakley employees dont know **** so you dont even bother asking them anything. Youve also educated an oakley employee about what they didnt know"
 

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