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Joke Thread

Two men in a bar. One says "A girl I met in Sydney gave me a sexually transmitted disease". His mate replies "you were lucky, in Darwin you would have had to pay for it!"
 
It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro, the son of a Mexican telecom tycoon, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, "Lets begin by reviewing some American history. Who said Give me Liberty, or give me Death? " She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775." "Very good! Who said Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth "? Again, no response except from Pedro: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863," said Pedro. The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do." She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans." "Who said that?" she demanded. Pedro put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836." At that point, a student in the back said, "Im gonna puke." The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Now, who said that?" Again, Pedro. "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991." Now furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Suck this!" Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher, "Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinski, 1997!" Now, with almost a mob hysteria, someone said, "You little ****. If you say anything else, Ill kill you." Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001." The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, "Oh ****, were in BIG trouble now!" Pedro whispered, "Saddam Hussein, 2003."
 
Here is a good one

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Frank and kronin welcome thread got locked........now we cant welcome them anylonger :lol::lol:
 
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