Life Event

[Frogskins]

I had a pretty ****ty Christmas/New Year with the death of my gf's father and then having Covid, but this thread always reminds me that my situation is not bad at all. Sending positive thoughts to Medusa and looking forward to better news as he continues to get better ...

 

[Medusa50]

why in the world does the radiation cause pain in the urethra? if you don't mind me asking.

and i am of course sending best wishes to you and your family!

The radiation I am receiving is targeting as many as 20 lesions/tumors in my pelvic region. The doctor said it can cause irritation and I’ve seen a significant amount of burning from hemorrhoids too. It’s all very unpleasant.

 

[Inkkoonce]

Hang in there brother!

 

[Medusa50]

Let me start by saying finding a silver lining in any of this is extremely challenging.

The last 6 days have been the most painful in my entire life. Doctors said nausea and diarrhea were possible side effects. I underestimated how long and how severe it could be. This has made me question the decision to have the treatment in the first place.

Rather than rehashing what I’ve already gone through I wanted to share this. Have you ever been afraid of the cure? I have. I knew radiation was not to be taken lightly. The machine makes no sound other than the whirring of motors and an occasional buzz. It doesn’t touch you nor do you feel any pain. As you lie there perfectly still you also know it can do irreparable damage. The silent assassin.

Days later I can’t even think about any positive effects on the tumors. All I can think of is when will the burning stop. The least bit of food brings on the urge to use the bathroom. My insides are ravaged. I am raw. I feel like I have a propane torch in my buttocks.

I’ve lost a lot of fluid. My head hurts, I get tunnel vision and my balance is off. I can feel the onset of dehydration. I do my best to drink but I have to battle the desire not to eat or drink as all it does is result in more discomfort. I know what needs to be done. Even I’m having difficulty making the right decision.

People who have had cancer would often talk about feeling good, test results came back negative and how their doctors spoke of remission. Sadly much of that quickly transitioned to recurrence of the disease and the inevitable message from a loved one announcing they had passed.

I have made every effort to speak in the present. Although I can’t say it right now, words like I feel ok today or I’m alright at the moment seem more appropriate as things can change rapidly.

I hope those of you still reading this understand.

 

[Tom.]

Sounds like you are about to give up ....... like the cure is worse than the disease, as you write yourself.

I don't know what to say to comfort you.......
you are in pain and want it to end.
But you also feel like you have to keep fighting and taking the meds, perhaps not only for your own sake but for your wife's sake as well.

Is that how you feel?

 

[Oakley/MExperiment Sydney]

@Medusa50 - Your words are so powerful and so direct and impactful. Please know that there are people throughout the world that are reading your words and wishing you all the best - even praying for you. Posting here gives you the opportunity to be heard and I hope that in turn aids you.

I agree with Tom, family is a major reason to keep up the fight. Your O-Family here appreciates your every post and know that throughout all the bad days, better days will soon arrive.

 

[Medusa50]

Sounds like you are about to give up ....... like the cure is worse than the disease, as you write yourself.

I don't know what to say to comfort you.......
you are in pain and want it to end.
But you also feel like you have to keep fighting and taking the meds, perhaps not only for your own sake but for your wife's sake as well.

Is that how you feel?

I told myself one more day with my wife is worth the pain. The only thing that could hurt worse is losing her. The only thing I could do that would be honorable is not leave her. Dying would be escaping this hell but only to shift that sadness to my wife. I can’t do that. I need her. I’ll continue to push through for us both as long as possible.

 

[Tom.]

I told myself one more day with my wife is worth the pain. The only thing that could hurt worse is losing her. The only thing I could do that would be honorable is not leave her. Dying would be escaping this hell but only to shift that sadness to my wife. I can’t do that. I need her. I’ll continue to push through for us both as long as possible.

I admire that......... may God give you the strength you need

 

[SpecialAdvisor]

I told myself one more day with my wife is worth the pain. The only thing that could hurt worse is losing her. The only thing I could do that would be honorable is not leave her. Dying would be escaping this hell but only to shift that sadness to my wife. I can’t do that. I need her. I’ll continue to push through for us both as long as possible.

Very well said

 

[Oaklimus Prime]

@Medusa50 keep fighting brother....... Sorry to hear this terrible news.