Joke Thread

[marc2040]

ROFL

 

[oakleybezerk]

A Kindhearted Scotsman​

A Scotsman and his wife walked past a swanky new restaurant.​

​

"Did you smell that food?" she asked. "Incredible!"​

​

Being a 'Kind Hearted Scotsman', he thought, "What the heck..., I'll treat her!"

So, they walked past it again.​

 

[oakleybezerk]

 

[oakleybezerk]

A Catholic Priest, an Indian Doctor, a rich Chinese Businessman and an Aussie were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.

The Aussie fumed, 'What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!'

The Indian Doctor chimed in, 'I don't know, but I've never seen such poor golf!'

The Chinese Businessman called out 'Move it, time is money'

The Catholic Priest said, 'Here comes George the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him.'

'Hello, George!', said the Catholic Priest, 'What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?'

George the greens keeper replied, 'Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.'

The group fell silent for a moment.

The Catholic Priest said, 'That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.'

The Indian Doctor said, 'Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if
there's anything he can do for them.'

The Chinese Businessman replied, 'I think I'll donate $50,000 to the fire-fighters in honour of these brave souls'

The Aussie said, 'Why can't they play at night?'

 

[oakleybezerk]

Two eggs boiling in a pot, one egg says to the other... "I've got a huge crack!"

The other egg replies "Stop f***ing teasing me, I'm not hard yet!"

 

[oakleybezerk]

 

[JayMann]

hahahahahhahhahahhah

 

[JayMann]

A Catholic Priest, an Indian Doctor, a rich Chinese Businessman and an Aussie were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.

The Aussie fumed, 'What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!'

The Indian Doctor chimed in, 'I don't know, but I've never seen such poor golf!'

The Chinese Businessman called out 'Move it, time is money'

The Catholic Priest said, 'Here comes George the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him.'

'Hello, George!', said the Catholic Priest, 'What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?'

George the greens keeper replied, 'Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.'

The group fell silent for a moment.

The Catholic Priest said, 'That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.'

The Indian Doctor said, 'Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if
there's anything he can do for them.'

The Chinese Businessman replied, 'I think I'll donate $50,000 to the fire-fighters in honour of these brave souls'

The Aussie said, 'Why can't they play at night?'

I'm going to hell for sure for laughing at this one!! lol

 

[oakleybezerk]

I'm going to hell for sure for laughing at this one!! lol

I'm sure the old man upstairs has a sense of humour.

 

[oakleybezerk]

I saw a S.U.V. with a bumper sticker saying:

"I am a vet, therefore I can drive like an animal."

Suddenly I realized how many gynecologists' there are on the roads.